


When The Cat's Away

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:18:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda
Summary: While Matt, Marisha, and Taliesin are at Burning Man, the rest of the cast play a one-shot. If you know what we mean.





	When The Cat's Away

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a prompt on the Critical Kink meme so thanks for that, prompter!

“That is not what I meant by a ‘very special one shot,’” Liam says to the assembled group of Ashley, Brian, Travis, Laura, and Sam, all of whom are huddled around him in the hallway outside the studio. 

“Too many jokes about shooting one’s load...trying to escape at once…” Laura says, laughing and leaning on Travis as the rest of them crack up as well. 

“C’mon, you know the three of them are out there on the playa naked right now,” Brian says. “We should get to have some fun too.”

Liam sighs. “You’re all terrible.” 

“Just kill us quickly,” Travis suggests. “Or, you know, just don’t let the session go on for like five hours like Matt lets us do sometimes. That’s all we’re asking.”

Laura bats her eyelashes at Liam and says, “Pleaaaaase?” in a coaxing tone.

Liam sighs again. “Fine. But if people complain that we didn’t play long enough, or if any of you suddenly feel the need to go on random tangents or derail the game with foolish escapades --”

Sam cough-mutters, “Love potion” and Liam glares at him before continuing, “As I was saying, if any of you motherfuckers decide to pull the exact same shit I have done to Matt so very many times in an attempt to get revenge on his behalf, I will make sure that we don’t end until at least midnight. I have so many minis, and I will deploy all of them, just like last time.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Ashley says. 

“And I’m only doing this because Ashley more than deserves this,” Liam says, glaring at the rest of the group. 

Ashley blushes. “Oh, stop. I do not.”

“Of course you do, baby,” Brian says, kissing her. “We always miss you. We almost never get a chance to play with you. Well, the rest of you don’t, anyways,” he says, leering at them. 

“Can we just go and play our actual D&D game now and then have the orgy?” Liam says. “It’s hard enough to concentrate at the best of times with all of you clowns, and now you’ve just made it worse for me.”

“What do you think, everyone, have we made it hard enough for Liam yet?” Sam asks, leaning on the word hard and elbowing Liam pointedly, and he can’t even make it through the sentence without cracking up, and then everyone’s laughing again.

“I hate all of you and you’re going to die messily and painfully starting in about fifteen minutes,” Liam threatens, making shooing motions with his hands. “Go. Go. Be on time for once. I need to prepare.”

Liam keeps his word, the rest of them keep theirs, and the game is wrapped up in a tidy three hours, including their break. They’re all keyed up and slightly punchy, but that’s not much different from other nights even without Brian sitting in, and the subject matter of his one-shot isn’t nearly as serious or heady as their usual game. If all of them except for Liam seem to find excuses to hug or touch each other a little more often, well, they’re usually a pretty hands-on group, so who’s going to be able to tell?

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late,” Sam says as Liam continues carefully packing things away. “They’ll start without us.”

“I’m pretty sure we can just jump in when we get there,” Liam says. “Here, help me put these away, and then I’ll be set to go.”

“Fine,” Sam huffs. “I just don’t want to miss anything.” His phone buzzes, and he looks down at it, swallows hard, and then holds it up so that only Liam can see the picture that Laura has just sent them of Travis and Brian helping Ashley get naked. 

“I see they have started without us,” Liam says, and decides that everything else can wait. 

By the time they get to Ashley and Brian’s apartment, everyone else is already naked as well.

“I would like to point out that for once I, Sam, am not the reason why we are late,” Sam says, pointing to Liam. 

Liam responds by pinning Sam against the wall and kissing him hard, cutting off any further smug declarations. 

“I see you’re making up for lost time already,” Brian remarks from his position on the sofa which gives him an excellent view of Ashley and Laura making out next to him. “Although right now you’re certainly overdressed for this party.” 

“Did we miss anything else?” Sam asks after Liam lets him back up for air and they both begin to strip off their clothes. 

“Well, Laura’s number came up on the die roll, so she gets Ashley first,” Travis says. “Brian and I were just discussing how to keep ourselves occupied while waiting for you two.”

“You’re rolling dice to figure out who’s ending up with who first tonight?” Liam asks.

“Hey, it worked for Sam that one time at GenCon,” Brian says.

“This is both brilliant and terrible,” Liam says. “We’re in.”

“We need a d6 now,” Travis says, “Although since Laura and Ashley are occupied at the moment, I guess we could just roll the D4 again for now.”

Laura pulls away from Ashley long enough to say, “Don’t you dare go through my dice bag, Travis,” before resuming their makeout session. 

“Relax,” Brian says. “We have plenty of dice around here.”

“So help me God, Brian, if you make a Wyrmwood reference right now, I will never be able to do those giveaways on Talks with a straight face again,” Liam says. 

“Like you can right now anyways,” Brian mutters as he pulls out a D6 from a container and sets it on the coffee table next to the D4 which is sitting next to the bottle of lube, bowl of condoms, and box of tissues. “So, who’s feeling lucky?”

“We’re all getting lucky tonight,” Sam jokes.

“Less wordplay, more foreplay,” Brian says, picking up the D4. “So. Numbers?”

“One,” Travis says.

“Two,” Brian says.

“Three,” Liam says.

“Four,” Sam says. 

“That makes Ashley five and Laura six when we get back to the next round,” Brian says. “Anyways, you roll the die. If it lands on your number or the number of the person you’re already with after this round, you roll again. Otherwise, you end up with the person whose number you rolled. Anyone can call for a new roll until we end up forgetting all about it and ending up all over each other anyways.”

“This is the best possible rolling for initiative we have ever done,” Liam says. 

Travis kneels next to the coffee table, picks up the D4 and rolls a 1. “That’s a critical miss for several reasons,” he says, and rolls again, getting a three. 

“There’s no point in either of us rolling right now, but you can see how it will work with all six of us,” Brian says as Liam wanders over and sits next to Travis, who wraps his large arms around Liam and pulls him into his lap. 

“Who knew group sex could have many rules?” Sam asks, walking over and sitting on Brian’s lap. 

“Were you expecting any less from us nerds?” Brian says before kissing Sam. 

After that, the conversation fades as everyone’s mouths -- and hands -- are otherwise occupied for a while. 

“I made Ashley come,” Laura says a little while later, lifting her head from where it’s been buried between Ashley’s thighs, “So she should get to roll again.”

“Aw, babe, you don’t want me to return the favor?” Ashley says, pouting.

“You can later. We all don’t get to play with you very often, so I want to make sure everyone has a turn,” Laura says, sitting up. 

“I guess that’s fair,” Ashley says, leaning over to pick up the D6. Everyone else temporarily pauses what they’re doing to watch her roll a 3 and then beckon for Liam to stop grinding on Travis’s lap and join her on the couch. 

“Now I roll,” Laura says. “I should have brought those sex act dice someone gave me at my bachelorette party,” she muses. “I wonder where I put them?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to get your own dice or attempt to add more dice to this game,” Travis says. “We will be here until next Thursday if you do.”

“You hush,” Laura says, rolling a 2. “Get your head out of Brian’s lap, Sam. It’s my turn.”

Sam sighs but disentangles himself from Brian and heads over to sit next to Travis, saying “I want a chance to roll next time.”

“Oh, I’ll roll you right now,” Travis says, grabbing Sam and rolling with him back onto the rug before pinning him down so he can kiss and grind against him. 

“Remind me to high five you later,” Liam says to Travis before face planting between Ashley’s breasts as she wraps a hand around his cock. Meanwhile, on the other half of the sofa, Laura’s seated on Brian’s lap, guiding his fingers inside her and telling him that he can finish what his girlfriend started. 

They manage to make it through one more round of random encounters (Sam and Liam, Laura and Ashley again, and Brian and Travis) before Ashley says that she’s tired of taking turns, and since it’s her party, the focus shifts to her at the center, with everyone -- often two or three of them at once -- in and on her, taking full advantage of her mouth and cunt and breasts and hands -- while anyone who just came watches until they feel like joining in again. 

“Do you think that the Burning Man crew are having as much fun as we just did?” Brian asks, once everyone is done, no, really, they’re done, and they’ve all collapsed into a satiated albeit slightly sticky pile on the floor. 

***  
“Thanks for filling in for me,” Matt says to Liam the following week. “How did it go?”

“I think it went well,” Liam says, “But you’ll have to ask everyone else.”

“Good to hear,” Matt says. “Did everyone roll well? I know the dice haven’t always been kind to us lately, so I’m hoping they treated you better.”

Liam chokes on his water and begins coughing.

“Was it something I said?” Matt asks.

“I don’t think people had any complaints about what the dice brought them last week,” Liam says weakly once he can speak again. 

“I should leave you in charge more often, then,” Matt says, patting Liam on the shoulder and heading over to his seat as the rest of the players begin to filter in.

**Author's Note:**

> I really did assign numbers to everyone, roll a D4 and a D6 and use the rolls to assign roles. I think that's the nerdiest thing I've ever done in order to write porn, but it was SO fun.


End file.
